Less than 24 hours

In less than 24 hours I will be headed to True North.  I’ll be honest, I’m a little anxious.  I had a “discussion” with one of my daughters the other day about my adventure.  I felt like she was thinking that I was weak for not being able to heal myself on my own.  Since other people are a reflection of our own thoughts and feelings, am I thinking that I’m weak for not being able to heal myself???  I guess, in a way, yes.  I also know that the journey I’m embarking on takes strength.  Strength to believe that my family will be ok without me for 3 weeks.  Strength to take this time for myself.  (Most moms that I know of have a really hard time with this!)  Strength to allow myself to experience the journey without expectations or assumptions.  Strength to be vulnerable and daring!

Speaking of vulnerability, I decided I was going to be as honest as I could be with this journey.  In that light, I am starting out this journey at 206lbs (dr’s visit yesterday).  Accomplishment: At my highest, when we moved to Texas, I was probably pushing 275.  For the past few years I’ve been hovering between 210 and 215.  On the paperwork for True North, I actually put 215 as my weight.  I am pleasantly surprised I’ll be starting this adventure 9 pounds lighter!  I’ll be posting a full length picture later this evening.  This is the beginning of my adventure.  One thing I should share, the actual weight number doesn’t matter to me.  It’s a number…  just like my age, 52.  It’s a number.  That’s all.  I didn’t like how when I turned 50 the world seemed to become obsessed with that number. It’s a number.  That’s all.  My mom makes fun of my sister and I because we LOVE to celebrate our birthdays!  Seriously, LOVE!  We’ve talked about why we enjoy it so much and we’ve come up with various theories.  I am always perplexed by people who get upset, anxious, whatever about a number.  It’s a number.  That’s all.  What I’m concentrating on is living my life to the fullest and right now I’m having a hard time doing that because of the pain.  That’s why I’m heading to True North.  Not because of my weight, although that will be a “side-effect” of the stay, but because of being able to live the life I want to be able to live.

Thanks to my OUTSTANDING family, I have the financial and emotional backing I need to be able to take this journey.  I invite you to take the journey with me as I write about my adventures!

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